


Tape Playing

by Darblesify



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, POV Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Pining, Season/Series 03, Season/Series 04, jon listens to all the tapes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:34:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24428842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darblesify/pseuds/Darblesify
Summary: Jon listens to all the tapes. It started as a necessary part of his job as the archivist, before becoming a necessary part of his life as The Archivist.In which Jon hears his coworkers feelings, office gossip, and realizes his own emotions via tape recordings.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 12
Kudos: 126





	1. Chapter 1

Gertrude Robinson had left the archives a mess, that wasn’t new information to anyone who had the displeasure of working there. They had managed to create quite the efficient system for organizing the scattered and mislabeled files over the years, though by that point they had all begun to realize that the chaos of files had actually been on _purpose_ , and wasn’t that just the thing?

It started with Jon splitting the files between himself and the assistant team. Sasha and Tim would pass files to Jon that refused to record digitally, or ones that had recurring subjects like the Leitner books or insect hives. They would then help Martin fill in the missing details or research that the statements needed. Once Jon had finished committing the statements to tape they were sent back so that whichever unfortunate (Martin) assistant that was available could file them away into the appropriate section of archive storage.

As loath as Jon was to admit it at first, he had grown to rely on the team and their individual strength.

Tim’s people skills that made him invaluable in getting follow-up statements and access to otherwise classified files. Jon had to recognize the benefits of that, even if his methods were a bit more _flirtatious_ than Jon found appropriate.

While Martin could be a bit more bumbling in his research, he had the uncanny ability to hold the archive staff together. It started as him being the common target for the team, but his dedication to finding the truth and his willingness to do whatever task quickly wormed them into all of their good graces, whether they would admit it or not. And, while Jon knew he tended to (unfairly) snap at the larger man over his fussing, he knew that the cups of tea and insistence on taking breaks made all of them feel a bit more human. A bit of normalcy and care typically lacking in their new world.

Sasha had been Jon’s go-to for digitizing the files, and looking over Jon’s own work. He found himself more and more often passing on the tapes that particularly stumped him for her insight or second opinion. 

Of course, that had been before...well. _Everything._

Now Sasha was gone, Tim switched between starting yelling matches at Jon at any given opportunity to hunting down leads with the same ferocity, and half of the new hires were there as pawns in Elias’ horrifying game. None of that led to an especially cohesive staff, and Jon found himself having to take on more and more of the work himself.

He had always listened to the statements recorded by the rest of the archive team. It was a necessary step for quality-control, and to see if there were any connections that had been missed by the others. In the beginning, however, it had been more of a formality - something he could do while focusing on other tasks. Then his paranoia with Gertrude had set in, and it had become an obsession. Jon could admit it as such now.

Jon still listens to all the tapes, though it’s become less about distrusting the staff and more about the need and desire to _know_ that was slowly taking over his mind. 

There was something else new too. The need to feel... _connected_ with the other members of the team. The people Jon had come to trust, and even care about. He knew they didn’t all feel the same way of course. He had established the separation between himself and the others from the very beginning, had believed it was necessary as part of his new position as their boss. He refused every invitation to spend time outside of work, often attacking or belittled the others when he was frustrated or overwhelmed. His paranoia had seen to burning the remaining bridges, and Jon knew whatever reparations he could try and make would be too little too late.

Still, despite all of Jon’s reservations he had begun to care for the others beyond work, and the recordings of them gave him a connection them, even if it was just a one-sided one. He found himself feeling relieved when he listened to the tapes that would show up mysteriously on Georgie’s doorstep or while he was travelling. Despite the typically horrifying content, hearing the voices of one of his team crackle to life on the old tape speaker brought him comfort. They weren’t flattering in their commentary about him of course. Obviously they didn't know that Jon would hear the tapes, and it made them feel comfortable being very candid in their opinions. Jon didn’t mind though, it wasn't as if what they were saying wasn't true. And even if they were unflattering words, he knew they were ones he could trust.

The only person whose opinion of him hadn’t seemed to change was Martin. Jon could feel his pulse rush when he played one of the tapes, and heard Martin insisting that he and Tim go back to rescue Jon in the tunnels. He knew that Martin cared about him of course, cared about everyone in the archives. But after being on the run and feeling abandoned for so long, hearing someone wanting to go back for him, even in a different context, felt...nice.

That tape was closely followed by one of Martin insisting that Jon hadn’t killed Gertrude, and the archivist had to physically sit down in the face of the other man’s faith in him. Jon put his head in his hands remembering how he had accused Martin about lying back in the heights of his paranoia. He had trusted Martin in the end of course, but hearing that trust returned now, so freely, despite everything going on was staggering.

After that Jon starting giving more attention and priority to the tapes recorded by Martin. He did feel a bit guilty over that fact, but more and more kept appearing so obviously someone or _something_ knew and was encouraging him. Still, his guilt didn't stop him from taking the latest tape to arrive with the other man's name straight into Georgie's studio, plugging it in and turning up the volume so he could be sure to hear it all without interruption. He had to pause, though, When he heard Daisy’s voice come on in the tape. He heard her call him and Martin _close_ , and heard how excited Martin sounded at the label...

Jon clicked off the tape. He knew he had to return to the Archives, even just briefly. He had to see Martin, see _all of them_ in person, even if he couldn't stay as long as he would like.

Of course, being face-to-face with his coworkers was wildly different than just hearing their voices. He knew there would be a lot to process in theory, but that hadn't prepared him for the reality of standing in front of Martin for the first time in months. Jon’s mouth felt dry, and it was difficult to focus enough beyond just seeing the other man to actually process what he was saying.

He just- he sounded so _happy_ to see Jon. Jon knew he had managed to fool himself, managed to forget that while he might have been able to keep tabs on everyone else with the tapes, they had no way of keeping track of him. He had all but abandoned them in their eyes.

The anger that slipped into Martin’s voice when he said Jon hadn’t been around hurt almost as badly as the apology after. Despite everything Jon had done Martin was still forgiving him, giving him room to apologize and talk before he left again. He didn’t know what he did to deserve that chance.

It was necessary to stay away, Jon knew that. He had tried to think of every possible way he could reach out without tipping off his location to the police, and had come up short every time. But it was hard to convince himself when looking at his assistant.

Jon tried to put as much of an apology as he could in his voice as he told Martin that he had to go away again. Tried to apologize for leaving him, leaving _all of them_ after Sasha and Gertrude. For not being there or being the companion or leader he knew they needed.

_“It’s not too late”_ Martin had said. Jon couldn’t stop replaying it in his head, hoped with all his might that it was true.

Naturally, Jon had to deal another supernatural trying to kill and kidnap him before he got the chance. He tried to convince himself that it was better that way, that at least being on the run helped keep his mind off of how he was failing the others.

At least, until the next tape showed up.

Jon had been half-listening to Melanie’s statement, too tired and relieved from finally being home again to do anything other than lay down. He had turned on the tape and closed his eyes, letting his mind drift as Melanie recounted the unfortunate story of Jan Kilbride’s adventures in space. He felt himself smile when Basira came in the room, the normalcy of her and Melanie talking about going out for drinks giving his emotions some much-needed peace. He even managed to laugh a bit as they started to talk about Martin, and his attitude when they had first started coming around the archives.

Jon had noticed too of course, remembered hearing Martin’s typically friendly demeanor go oddly snippy towards the two women when they first arrived at the archives. Of course Jon had just wrote it off as Martin feeling protective of his team. Honestly, it had amused Jon to see a crack in the man’s otherwise-accommodating nature. Thinking on it now, Jon thought a part of him might have _liked_ that not everyone got the special treatment that he was privy to, though Basira calling him Martin's “Precious Archivist” might have been going a bit far.

_“That boy needs to relax.”_

_“Or at least find someone else to fuss over!”_

Jon felt his laugh stop, smile slipping into a frown. Obviously they had all joked about Martin’s tendencies to mother hen and fuss- heaven knows there were several tapes of Jon himself saying so - still, he coudn't help but feel a bit protective at the way they were talking about the other man. Something about the way they said it too, it felt like they were implying something else... 

_“Yeah, he’s got it bad.”_

His stomach dropped. _No, there was no way that they thought that Martin had-_

Jon shook his head, grabbing the tape off the table and looking at it. 

_The way Basira had said it, so matter-of-fact, like it was something obvious..._

The pause seemed to stretch on forever, Jon holding his breath as he stared at the tape in his palm, brain racing with a thousand other explanations for what they were saying.

_“Do you know if he and Jon ever-”_

Jon hurriedly clicked off the tape, his pulse in his ears. That was several steps further than his brain was willing to process at the moment, _thankyouverymuch._

He set the tape player back on the coffee table, deciding to try and busy himself with cleaning Georgie’s apartment instead of focusing on whatever the hell _that_ had been. 

Despite all his best efforts, Jon found himself with the tape back in his hand only a few minutes later, rewinding that small snippet of conversation over and over as he tried to process this new information.

It wasn’t that he minded the gossip. He did find it rather "unprofessional", but he had caught Tim teasing Martin about the same sort of thing when they all first started to work together, and it hadn't bothered him like this then.

No, what bothered him was what he realized several hours later. Part of him _wanted_ it to be true.

And that would be the worst thing he could do, wouldn't it? He knew he had been horrible to Martin when they started, and for long after. He was trying to change now, but he hardly deserved the other man’s friendship, much less anything _more._

Of course he eventually managed to finish listening to the rest of the tape and had the horrific realization about Elias’ true character and Melanie’s suffering to add further guilt to his pity-party.

He resolved to put the gossip out of his mind for now. He had bigger things to worry about, like keeping Martin and the others safe as they planned their next move against Elias now that he had revealed himself.

His feelings could wait just a bit longer, and until then he had the tapes to listen to.


	2. Chapter 2

Jon was worried as he paced around his office.. He knew Melanie and Basira were both alright, Georgie and Basira had been there when he’d woken up at the hospital to fill him in on the news. He knew that Tim hadn’t made it out of the Unknowing, that Daisy was missing, and his grief was currently battling with his worry for the spot in the forefront of his mind. It’s not that he hadn’t wanted to hear about the other’s or that he wasn’t mourning them, he just felt frustrated at not knowing more. Obviously they were all very busy in the aftermath, and what he had learned was already a lot to process...

It was just-

_Martin wasn’t there in the hospital when he woke up. _Basira had told him that Elias had been arrested, so obviously Martin and Melanie’s plan had succeeded, but the way Basira had avoided his questions about Martin himself made Jon sick with worry. Even his compulsion couldn’t get more information, and that did nothing to put him at ease.__

____

____

According to the hospital logs Martin hadn’t visited since the early months of Jon’s coma. Six months was a long time to wait of course, especially with other rituals and attacks trying to move ahead with his absence. But of the people Jon had hoped to see when he woke up, Martin’s name at the top of the list.

He had managed to find the tape of everyone’s testaments before they left for the wax museum on his first day back at work. Hearing Tim’s voice again was like a punch to the gut, and hearing Martin shakily praying for Jon to come back and be safe made his six month absence all the more painful. He had accepted the fact that he had feelings for Martin soon after his freak-out with the previous tapes. Had had even accepted that Martin might have felt similarly, at least before Jon spent half a year on the brink of death before they could talk about it. As it was, Jon had been back in the archive for a week, and the only information he had on Martin's absence was that he was apparently working with Peter Lukas.

_Was Martin angry at him? Did something happen when he was confronting Elias that no one was talking about?_

The thought made Jon’s blood run cold. He remembered what Elias did to Melanie on the last tape, knew now more than ever what the other man was capable of, what he was making _Jon_ capable of. 

Jon felt something click in his brain with that thought. With sudden certainty he walked out of his office over to Martin’s desk in the main room pulling open the top drawer. 

_Of course._

Sitting among the loose rubber bands, pens, and paperclips was a small black tape. There was no label, but Jon was certain who he would hear talking when he played it, just like he was certain that the tape would be in the desk drawer, and that if he had looked any earlier it wouldn’t have appeared.

Apparently acknowledging his knew role and power earned him an explanation.

Serving a knowledge god that only distributed knowledge according to its own whim was a special kind of hell.

Jon had read horrifying accounts before. Like most people he had learned things he would rather forget. Still, until Melanie he had never considered how knowledge could be truly weaponized as a fear. He thought he understood now, as he walked back to his office and put the tape in the player. He had never wanted to know so badly, and been so scared of the answer.

Hands shaking, Jon clicked on the tape. Despite his fear, Jon felt a bubble of warmth surface out of the dread as he heard Martin’s voice, heard him talking to himself as he burned the statements.

Jon’s heart squeezed when Elias’ muffled voice appeared next on the tape, pride in Martin's refused to back down battling with his fear for the other man.

He should have realized how brave Martin was earlier. Dozens of examples popped into his head- Martin facing off the worms in his apartment alone, capturing one of them for proof despite his terror, how he had planned a way to fight back when they attacked again. Even after when he refused to let Tim abandon Jon as they ran away from the NotThem, refusing to give his information to Daisy when Jon was on the run…

And now he was facing Elias, standing up to him alone.

_“Did Jon put you up to this?”_

_“You think I’m doing this for him?”_

_“No? It’s just the sort of half-baked scheme he’d come up with, and I am well aware that you’d do just about anything for him. And I don’t need to read your mind for that one.”_

Jon’s face burned. He was angry that Martin’s emotions weren’t being taken seriously, that Elias acknowledged Martin’s romantic feelings before Jon was able to, and that he would use those feelings to hurt Martin.

_“You know that Jon listens to all of them.”_

Jon let out a shaky breath. He almost wished the tape recorder had stayed off. Because Martin had to know that Jon had heard his confessions,would hear his feelings. He had to know that Jon _knew_ , which meant that whatever came next either destroyed those feelings, or hurt Martin badly enough that he was still choosing to stay away from Jon.

_“Well, I hope you’ve got something better than that pathetic dig at my feelings for Jon.”_

Jon let out a laugh that might’ve just been a sob. _What a way to confirm that the person you had fallen for liked you back._

_“It’s baffling, really. Such loyalty to someone who really treats you very badly.”_ Jon wished he could stop Elias voice, stop the venom in his words. 

_“Oh, is that supposed to be, what? A revelation?”_

Jon felt his heart sink as he heard Martin snap back on the tape. Martin hadn't even tried to deny it. Jon knew he didn't deserve Martin standing up for him. After all, he recognized now how terrible he had been to Martin. But the other man's acceptance of his treatment, of the pain Jon had caused him, hurt.

Worse than that, Elias knew that Jon would listen to the tape. He probably even knew that Jon had similar feelings towards Martin, and made it so that Jon would find this tape when he was the most isolated. A selfish part of him felt relieved when Elias declared he was going to hurt Martin with a different subject, glad he wouldn't have to sit through someone else listing out his atrocities, hearing it break the man he cared about. Jon hated himself for that feeling.

The relief didn’t last long, though.

The subject might have changed, but hearing Martin broken down was far worse than he could have imagined.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic I'm posting on here! The Magnus Archives overwhelmed me with emotions and the inspiration to try new things! I wrote this in one shot and I'm posting before I get too in-my-head about it, so I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Also this was 100% inspired by this tweet and comic by @GangCane on twitter. https://twitter.com/GangCane/status/1262922004576993281


End file.
